There are very few things in life that are ever guarenteed. Death is the one we will all be guarenteed, and sadly, that is something that we all must face. My Pop Pop, my father's dad, is in the hospital today with pnumonia, and is not ok. As it has been explained to me, he may not survive the evening.
Pop Pop is the only grandfather I have ever known. My mom's dad died before I was born. Pop sure made up for that fact, being the greatest Pop anyone could know - anytime I saw him, I knew he was going to make me smile. He has always been one of the funniest people I know, using dry and very witty humor to move us through our days. He always threatened if we were out of line, that he would give as a "wappa dappa", as was of course required according to the bylaws of the "Mulligan-Hooligan Act". I think a wappa dappa is a kiss though, and although I don't know exactly who mulligan or hooligan are, or what their act is about, I always knew that Pop Pop loved me. Even in the worst of times, Pop always made me smile. I remember when my cat Meow Meow died, back in 1993. Nana and Pop Pop were visiting at the time, and although I was devistated at the loss of my best friend and kitty, Pop was there to comfort me. He always kept his chin up, even when I knew I couldn't.
I remember when I was a kid, we would drive to Long Island to visit family, and we always stopped at Nana and Pop Pop's apartment on the way to Auntie's. I loved getting there - it was always late at night, and we were always very quiet, and were asked to go to sleep on the hide-a-bed or the hide-a-bed on the chair. In the morning, Nana would make us the world's GREATEST farina, and the place would smell of coffee. Before we went on to Aunite's, chances were, we would spill the big jar of pennies, and pretend we could count them all. That, and Pop had these coffee candies in a glass dish by the chair, and I would always look forward to eating them. To this day, any coffee candy reminds me of him.
Pop Pop sang at most of the girls' weddings. His voice carried throughout any hall he sang in. I didn't inheret that talent, but I know Pop had it! WHen my husband and I were just dating, we heard joking and poking from many members of our families and friends, but the best was the one that Pop laid on Aubrey. One day in my Dad's kitchen, Dad, Pop, and Aubrey were having a drink, I believe it was scotch, and Pop Pop made a comment that went something like this - now, mind you, I was the ONLY of the daughters/granddaughters who was not married - he said - "I don't have too many years left, and I just want to sing at one more granddaughter's wedding before I leave the room". In 2004, he did just that - and he did it PERFECTLY. In fact, the only time I cried at my own wedding was when I heard him sing Ave Maria It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.
When we came back from our honeymoon, I found out I was pregnant with my only child, Lanie. We were so excited. We went to visit Nana and Pop Pop that October, and brought Loren, Brandon, Cameron, Aaron and Alyssa to see them as well. Although we only stayed for 2 days, we had a chance to spend a little time with both Nana and Pop Pop. That was the last time we saw Nana, as she passed away the following April.
The week before Nana passed away, I had the most wonderful talk with her. She was battling Alzheimers, and was having such difficulty remembering so many things. Some of our previous conversations were just repeated phrases and sentences. However, the week before Lanie was born, Nana was on top of her game. She and I chatted for some time, and she was completely coherant. She told me how much she loved me, and that she was going to come up here to visit, and she didn't care if she was a pain in the ass, because she was going to come and hold that little baby girl (Lanie). One week and two days later, Nana passed away. She never did get to hold Lanie, but I know that she was with Lanie when she was born.
Lanie had a rough and scary delivery, In fact, I was in labor with her when Nana's funeral was about to begin. Lanie was born on April 23, 2005 at 10:58am, and Nana's funeral began at 11:00am that same day. To this day, I swear that Nana was there with her, making sure she was ok when all was said and done. Nana would never have let anything bad happen to her grandchildren.
Pop Pop of course, was never the same after Nana died. How could he be? She was his life, and he showed us all what love really was by his love for her.
We saw Pop a number of times after Nana died. He came to the hospital to see Lanie after Nana's funeral, and I believe that he really connected with Lanie because he saw her as his "little Nana". I have a feeling that Lanie brought a lot of joy to the whole DeAgro family in a time when we were all very sad.
Still, every time I spoke with Pop, he was so sad after Nana passed away. As my husband just said, he missed Nana like no one else. Though he had some times of happiness, his heart was with his Nana, his love of his life. Every time I saw him, he talked about looking forward to seeing Nana again, not being afraid to move on to the afterlife.
It has been a few weeks since I spoke with Pop. I am so regrettful for the amout of time I have let pass between calls. I was excited that he was only a 6 or so hour drive from here to get to, and planned on visiting over the summer. Life does not always go according to the plans we make. When Dad called me this afternoon, I was in the kitchen putting away groceries, and thinking of making a dinner for Lanie, Aubrey and me. He told me that Pop collapsed and went to the emergency room, and had pnumonia. He said that he had talked with my oldest sister, Karen, who is a nurse, and said that she didn't expect that he would be with us for much longer.
Dad also reminded me that Pop would probably wait to "leave the room" until tomorrow, which is Nana's birthday.
There is so much to be said about Frank DeAgro, my Pop Pop. He is the most wonderful and amazint grandfather a kid could want. I am so sad at the thought of him passing, because I will miss him so much. He is my Pop Pop, my friend, the administrator of the Mulligan Hooligan act, and the greatest example of what I aspire to be. He always felt bad about being a "burdon" to others as he aged - he said that to me often, but I don't think he ever realized how much he has been there for all of us. I don't have a single negative memory of Pop Pop, and although hindsight is 20/20, I truly can't think of one negative thing about him. Not one single thing.
I could go on for days, weeks, months even about all of the wonderful things I can think about when it comes to Pop Pop, but I need to get my own thoughts together for now. My heart breaks at the thought that I may not see him again, and I need my healing time, as do we all.
