Camping, and reflection

As some of you may know, Aubrey got a new job and is away for work this week. I took the opportunity to get out of the house with the kids for the past few days to just do something new while Aubrey was gone. We ended up in the southern tier at a campground and have had a nice time. For the first few days, my friend Errin joined us, but now it is just the two kids and me. Just what I think I needed, and I truly mean that.

I have been pretty emotional lately. So much has been going on, and I need to move through and past it. I am still struggling to understand the death of Juliana Lamonica. She turned 3 on July 1, and died four days later on her brother's 5th birthday. She had AML (rare form of leukemia)  and even though all of the treatments went well, and even though all the doctors were amazed at her strength and recovery, she is still gone. Because of some of the details of her leukemia, chemo would not have cured her. The only chance she had for a cure was a BMT (bone marrow transplant). Her 4 1/2 year old brother was a perfect match (10 out of 10... can't get better than that, unless you have your own stem cells to work with) and after two remissions, she had the transplant. Though she was AML free for nearly a month, it returned, and she is now gone. Her funeral was the 2nd funeral for a child I have been to in less than a year. That is something I am not able to grasp still. I pray that JJ and Nathan are playing together in heaven, without any pain or sadness.

Children are so very important to me. The children of my friends, and of course my own two amazing little loves. So, so important.

So, it is tough for me to understand people who take their own children for granted, or don't really care too much for them for whatever reasons. I get that people disagree, and that sometimes people aren't as close with their families as they once were, but neglect and indifference are inexcusable. I see more parents who could care less about their kids than I see those who DO care. Something is VERY wrong with this picture. I see it in the stores, I see it on TV, I see it way too close for comfort. So many parents don't think about how their own actions will affect their kids. It doesn't matter if your kids are young, middle aged, elderly, whatever. All kids have feelings. Consider that when you reflect on your own behavior around your children. Are you really making the most out of the time you have on earth with them, or are you merely fulfilling the basic obligations that give you the 'right' to be called Mom or Dad or whatever name your kids call you?

A friend called me today and told me that her mom is moving to the house behind hers. I simply reminded her to really look at the relationship she has with her mom, and never take it for granted. Her mother is there for her, for her grandson, and is so very thoughtful about how she contributes to her life. Her mother even took the time to come and see me in the hospital just before I had my son. I needed that motherly hug so much. I find that all too often that is a major part of my life that is lacking. I went to have my hair cut and colored a month or so ago. and my stylist was still on maternity leave, so she did the job at her house. Her mom and dad were there (they moved closer to her as she was getting ready to have her baby so they could help out and be a part of her life). I was really surprised that people actually do that. It seems so alien to me. I have heard complaints from another person that their mom comes over and cleans and takes care of things around the house. Complaints? Really? You don't know what the opposite side of that type of relationship really looks like. You have it better than you think. It is like people who complain that they have too much $ in the bank. Man... life can be rough.

Then there are the parents who are game players. Who use that passive-aggressive drama to stir things up. Those who have their own issues that they choose to displace in the shape of aggression, anger or hate on their own kids. I don't have time for that either. I have lost my faith in you. You can't behave that way and expect people to continue to respect you. You would not behave this way with your social or business circles, so provide some kind of reason that you believe behaving this way with family is ok. It just isn't. Everyone loses.

Make the most of your time here with the people who you really love. Everyone has a limited time on earth. Nobody lives forever, so all this game playing, all of this negative foolishness, all of this lying (be it big or small) is time that you can't get back. Is it really the best way to use the time you have?

This is why, on any particular day, I am most happy with my family. Spending time with my husband and children is the way I most prefer to be. I have spent so much time trying to get and hold the attention of people who, for whatever reasons, don't want to pay attention to me or my family. Or, they do pay attention, but only when it fits their own needs, or if there is an ulterior motive.

So,  thank you to the family and friends out there who truly care, who truly enjoy spending time with me, with my immediate family.  You mean a LOT to us. You are important to us, and we are all so grateful to have you in our lives. Maybe I am reading the rest of you wrong, but how would I know... you don't communicate enough to let me know otherwise. That is and always has been hurtful.

Springtime!!!

Its almost here folks!!! only a few more hours until it is OFFICIALLY SPRING!!! As much as I hate the winter, one of the benefits of living in western New York is the change in seasons, and looking forward to at least 3 of the 4 seasons...

It is fun to watch all of the flowers coming up, waking up to hear the birds singing again, the woodpeckers pecking for bugs, and the fresh air of the season that rushes in when I open the windows. What is even more exciting is watching how my son looks at all of these things for the first time. He has never experienced any of this, and I always have to wonder what he is thinking about as he sees these things. He looks at them all with such wonder and excitement. Ahh, to see things as a child does again - what a gift that would be!

I also love that every morning when he wakes up, I go in to his room and get the biggest smile from his cute little chubby-cheeked face. This morning he even laughed quite a bit. It was awesome. I love that I can have full conversations with him that consist only of the word "Goo" over and over again (as he and I are doing right now). Having him is a really fun and exciting experience.

Lanie has been great as a big sister, and as a companion to me. She is a wonderful helper and has been my buddy moreso over the past few months than ever I think. She has struggled a bit with no longer being the center of attention all of the time, and we have all been learning how to adjust to this new family life that we now have. All in all, I think we are all doing a pretty good job of adjusting and doing our parts. I want to work on making sure that Lanie and I (and Lanie and Daddy too) get some some one on one time. I want to do some girly type things with her without her brother coming with us, and I think that kind of bonding time will help. She is already excited that she has a girls night sleepover coming up next week. My good friend Vicky is coming over that night and we are doing a girls sleepover (daddy will have to go to the guest bedroom or Lanie's room) night. Vicky already comes over each week to hang out and give me a hand with the kids, and provide me with some grown-up conversation (much needed when playing the role of stay at home mom for the moment!). Friday will be fun. Today will be nice too since my awesome sister Shawna is coming out with her kids and they are all staying the night with us. That will be a lot of fun to have them all here. The older I get, the more I truly appreciate spending time with family.

Speaking of that, I have also really enjoyed spending time with my mother in law lately. Since I am home with the kids, there is much more time where I can go over to her house and visit, chat and just spend time together. It is so much harder when both Aubrey and I are working. At the end of a work day, we barely have the energy to get dinner together, clean whatever needs to be cleaned in the house (chores are never-ending), and get the kids to bed, then get up and do it all again the next day. That is probably hard to understand unless it is the life you are living. Then the weekend comes, and it is the only time we actually get to spend as a family together, and of course it is usually filled with cleaning and other necessary household responsibilities like shopping... time flies too fast.

Well, I am off again. Time to get the boy in the bath and clean his little tooshie. Then the big girl needs to get in the bath and get clean. She is learning how to do that herself these days, which is just amazing. She is growing up so very fast. She tells me that I am still growing too, and it happens when I sleep, and I can't even see it. She cracks me up. The things she says are so funny. I still can't believe that she will be in Kindergarten this year. Where did those 5 years go? She is so ready to be in school though. She has been for a long time. I just hope she doesn't get bored, and enjoys school. I hope that the school she goes to is a good one, and that her teacher(s) is/are great.

I will upload some photos later. Enjoy the first day of Spring everyone!

Tootles!

Smiling Man

Here are a few new photos of the boy - he is starting to smile and say things like "ah goo" and some of those other cute baby noises...

Time for photos!

I need to get back to keeping this blog more up to date I think. Not that I have much time to be doing that, but with the changes that the baby will be going through all of the time, it will be nice to at least post some photos every now and again. So, here are a few more recent photos of the boy. He is getting bigger and as of today he is 21" and 7lbs 13oz... so we are going in the right direction! He has not lost his hair, which I am amazed at. I thought he would lose it or that it would change color by now - Lanie's did! He is his own guy though apparently.

Lanie is transitioning into big-sisterhood pretty well. We have had some major blow-outs and fits, much disobedience and frustration, so, pretty much normal I believe! I hope that we are able to stabilize soon though, as it is no fun to be fighting with your firstborn. She is a great kid, and is just frustrated at being asked to be 2nd fiddle for a little...

Anyhow, speaking of the bear, I need to go and get her from school momentarily. Here are a few pics of the boy, as promised, along with some of sister et. al.

TTFN y'll!

His name is not Sylar

I can't tell you how many people think the baby's name is Sylar... though that is an 'interesting' name, it isn't the one we gave him. Sylar, for those of you who do not watch Heroes on NBC, is the very, very nasty villain character. This boy is far from evil....... he is one calm, cool dude.

Aubrey goes back to work this week, and we are going to take Lanie down to part time at daycare. That will be a challenge as she and I didn't cope well with each other this summer when she was home. I imagine that was due to being sick (me) and so, SO fatigued, and am hoping that having her home with me will allow us to do some more family bonding. It has been a rough transition for her going from being the only child to having a sibling who is getting the attention more than she is used to. She sure does love her brother though, and as long as it stays that way, we should be good. I plan on trying to get her into some classes at the rec center here, and also want to see about having her audition for a play that they are doing there, well, actually, it is at one of the area colleges. I think that she would love that, as she really, REALLY enjoys being on stage and in the spotlight. She always has. Plus, if she gets a part, I can only imagine how special that will make her feel!

Anyhow, we are getting a bit of s snow storm, and we have some things that we need to get done before the weather is too bad. I will post more photos soon, and as always, check facebook if you like since that is where I also tend to do updates.

Cheers!