As some of you may know, Aubrey got a new job and is away for work this week. I took the opportunity to get out of the house with the kids for the past few days to just do something new while Aubrey was gone. We ended up in the southern tier at a campground and have had a nice time. For the first few days, my friend Errin joined us, but now it is just the two kids and me. Just what I think I needed, and I truly mean that.
I have been pretty emotional lately. So much has been going on, and I need to move through and past it. I am still struggling to understand the death of Juliana Lamonica. She turned 3 on July 1, and died four days later on her brother's 5th birthday. She had AML (rare form of leukemia) and even though all of the treatments went well, and even though all the doctors were amazed at her strength and recovery, she is still gone. Because of some of the details of her leukemia, chemo would not have cured her. The only chance she had for a cure was a BMT (bone marrow transplant). Her 4 1/2 year old brother was a perfect match (10 out of 10... can't get better than that, unless you have your own stem cells to work with) and after two remissions, she had the transplant. Though she was AML free for nearly a month, it returned, and she is now gone. Her funeral was the 2nd funeral for a child I have been to in less than a year. That is something I am not able to grasp still. I pray that JJ and Nathan are playing together in heaven, without any pain or sadness.
Children are so very important to me. The children of my friends, and of course my own two amazing little loves. So, so important.
So, it is tough for me to understand people who take their own children for granted, or don't really care too much for them for whatever reasons. I get that people disagree, and that sometimes people aren't as close with their families as they once were, but neglect and indifference are inexcusable. I see more parents who could care less about their kids than I see those who DO care. Something is VERY wrong with this picture. I see it in the stores, I see it on TV, I see it way too close for comfort. So many parents don't think about how their own actions will affect their kids. It doesn't matter if your kids are young, middle aged, elderly, whatever. All kids have feelings. Consider that when you reflect on your own behavior around your children. Are you really making the most out of the time you have on earth with them, or are you merely fulfilling the basic obligations that give you the 'right' to be called Mom or Dad or whatever name your kids call you?
A friend called me today and told me that her mom is moving to the house behind hers. I simply reminded her to really look at the relationship she has with her mom, and never take it for granted. Her mother is there for her, for her grandson, and is so very thoughtful about how she contributes to her life. Her mother even took the time to come and see me in the hospital just before I had my son. I needed that motherly hug so much. I find that all too often that is a major part of my life that is lacking. I went to have my hair cut and colored a month or so ago. and my stylist was still on maternity leave, so she did the job at her house. Her mom and dad were there (they moved closer to her as she was getting ready to have her baby so they could help out and be a part of her life). I was really surprised that people actually do that. It seems so alien to me. I have heard complaints from another person that their mom comes over and cleans and takes care of things around the house. Complaints? Really? You don't know what the opposite side of that type of relationship really looks like. You have it better than you think. It is like people who complain that they have too much $ in the bank. Man... life can be rough.
Then there are the parents who are game players. Who use that passive-aggressive drama to stir things up. Those who have their own issues that they choose to displace in the shape of aggression, anger or hate on their own kids. I don't have time for that either. I have lost my faith in you. You can't behave that way and expect people to continue to respect you. You would not behave this way with your social or business circles, so provide some kind of reason that you believe behaving this way with family is ok. It just isn't.
Everyone loses.
Make the most of your time here with the people who you really love. Everyone has a limited time on earth. Nobody lives forever, so all this game playing, all of this negative foolishness, all of this lying (be it big or small) is time that you can't get back. Is it really the best way to use the time you have?
This is why, on any particular day, I am most happy with my family. Spending time with my husband and children is the way I most prefer to be. I have spent so much time trying to get and hold the attention of people who, for whatever reasons, don't want to pay attention to me or my family. Or, they do pay attention, but only when it fits their own needs, or if there is an ulterior motive.
So, thank you to the family and friends out there who truly care, who truly enjoy spending time with me, with my immediate family. You mean a LOT to us. You are important to us, and we are all so grateful to have you in our lives. Maybe I am reading the rest of you wrong, but how would I know... you don't communicate enough to let me know otherwise. That is and always has been hurtful.
